Tales of an Immigrant

Awoken by the noise of buses speeding down the dusty roads with incorrigible conductors screaming their destinations at unconcerned bystanders.

I’m in Lagos..

I’m home..

What does America mean to me?

I was the golden child

the one sent to the promised land

with the promise to return in grand

with my medical degree in tow

Reflecting on these past ten years in America:

it’s easy to see the changes

the growth and the stages

which have led to the 2-yr mark

of this Medical journey I chose to embark

Home calls:

Have you made it?

Is it time to join you in paradise?

We need you, are you equipped to further our legacy?

I answer:

Things have changed; I’m scared; It might not become..

Today’s America beckons:

Is this still the promised land?

Can I still be grand?

Is there hope still?

My love for Medicine..

My love for Medicine goes far beyond these walls

It echoes in the missed events and lonely halls

The birthdays, the babies, the stroke

Yet, i persevere..

i push through with unwavering strength and endless poke

Be mindful, I’m resilient not by strength but in faith

Because believing that there’s more, that there’s a reason

Motivates me to memorize that lesion

Study the histology

To understand it’s pathology

And explain that diagnosis

Acknowledging that there could be a different prognosis

Not to jump to conclusions

Because the fate of one lies on my recollections

Of the intricate details learned within these four walls.

Training Ground

People are so quick to judge, sitting on their high chairs looking down and judging those that have less or seem not to have made it. How is your life better than mine? Who made you the judge? What determines who’s life is better? I’ll tell you this: In life we all have different starting points and also different end points.. You might have started before me but we’re definitely not at the end yet.. #StayTuned Just because you had a great start doesn’t mean you’ve won, it just means you won’t know how to deal when it gets tough.. As for me, my whole life has been a training ground and when it gets tough it’s just another day in the life.. #WatchMeWork 

Love is NOT enough (Put some RESPECK on my Name!):

People say “boys will be boys!”.. “Men cheat, they just do!”.. I have been told by these men that cheat that they truly love their spouses/girlfriends.. I have also personally experienced this.. This is exactly why I say Love is NOT enough.. My reply to these men: If you respected her you wouldn’t cheat on her.. Your love for her does not stop you from entertaining random thots but your respect for her will force you to refrain from engaging in such behavior. When you respect her feelings, your relationship with her and most of ALL God as the forefront of your union you will not cheat! Like I said; Put some RESPECK on my Name because your love just isn’t enough! 
**For my ladies out there: I still maintain that guys will only do to you what you allow them to do to you.. Also, they will ONLY respect you to the height of your standards!!

I Blog: Jasmineluv86.wordpress.com

Book coming out soon: Tales of an Immigrant 

SC: Iza_george

IG: NaijaBarbieMD

Life As I know It

I don’t know where to start, I feel lost.

I seek inspiration, love and understanding.

Living is much harder when you know your capabilities but are unable to attain your goals.

Its much harder when you are a dreamer especially one who dreams in colors but lives in  the dark.

Its much harder to have had it all and lost it all in the blink of an eye.

Drowning in a bed of your tears and waking to the stench of your failures is more than you can bear.

What do I do? Who do I turn to ? Where do I go from here?

Everyone has their purpose on this earth; unique and different in their own way.

I have to find my path, not the old one but a brand new one.

I am not retracing my steps but I am carving new ones in stone.

I pray that you “Renew my wisdom, Oh Lord” in the words of my Father.

I know that this is not the end for me, it is the beginning of my life.

**Written during my darkest hour (Dec. 24 2011); never posted…

DON’t drink and dRIVE!!!

Don’t drink and drive; you might cost someone their life or loose yours!!!

I was opportuned to attend a VIP class (Victim Impact Panel) hosted by MADD (Mothers against Drunk Driving). They had three major speakers. These are their stories! You don’t want to be in their position; it brought tears to the eyes of their audience.

Dylan: About 60 years old… Caucasian male…

                He started with telling us about his daughter, she was a high school volleyball coach who lived in California. Dylan and his wife got a call at 5:00 AM on a weekend. He said he knew it had to be bad news. They were told to come to California immediately, that his daughter had been hit by a drunk driver. He took his ailing wife and they boarded the first flight out of Dallas to California. His wife has Lupus and heart problems. When they got there, his daughter was laying there in the bed looking lifeless. He asked the doctor what her condition was and he did some basic tests and said nothing. They waited in the room 24-hrs and decided to confront the doctor. The doctor said they had to keep her for 72-hrs. Dylan found out later that his daughter was already dead and had been on life support. I guess that explained all the tubes. He went on to explain the vents that precede this dilemma. His daughter was out of school for summer. She was supposed to be coming home to Dallas in two weeks. I don’t remember his daughter’s name. Well she had gone out to lunch at a restaurant with some friends. They finished and were outside the restaurant chatting… Meanwhile, Tonya just left the restaurant. She had a designated driver but took the keys from her friend and decided to drive. She left from the same restaurant as Dylan’s daughter. She got in the car, revved up and went over the median. She was speeding towards Dylan’s daughter and her friends.  The other ladies jumped one way, and Dylan’s daughter jumped in the wrong direction. Because two seconds later, his daughter’s skull was smashed across the pavement. Dylan received a letter a couple of months later from a by-stander that saw the whole thing. She said that his daughter had died on the spot and the ambulance had tried to revive her when they got there. Tonya, received a free ride to jail, placed a bond of $75,000 and paid a lawyer $27,000. She went to trial about a year and a half later and got 6 years in jail. Dylan and his wife were never the same. His wife died from lupus after several heart complications, several years later. He has tried to commit suicide twice but hasn’t succeeded… He said Lupus didn’t kill his wife; she died from “A Broken Heart!” Think twice before you drink and drive!

Mrs. Hunter: 58 years old… Caucasian female… Nurse…

                Misty Don Hunter was 21 and would be 22 on January 4th 2002. On the night of December 5th 2001, Misty hugged her mother tightly before she left for Durant, Oklahoma with her friend African-American friend Toni. She told her mother she didn’t want to go but she had promised Toni she would drive her to the party in Durant. Mrs. Hunter went to sleep that night and woke up at about 7 am the next morning. She couldn’t go back to sleep. She said she knew her daughter was dead and was lying on highway TX-121. She wanted to go there; put on her robe, found her keys and ran to the door. Her car was blocked in by her foster-son’s car on one side and the other side was Toni’s car but she couldn’t find the keys. She ran to her foster-son’s room and tried to wake him. Knowing him, she said he could sleep through a tornado! She went back and laid in bed, keys and purse in hand. About two hours later, her foster-son’s wife came to her room and told her that two officers were at the door. The younger officer looked very young, he probably was about 18 and it looked like it was his first notification/visit, cos he broke down and cried while delivering the news of her daughter’s death to her. The older officer took over and told her that there was another lady in  the passenger seat. She was also dead! As she stood there staring at the officer in shock, one of Toni’s sons walked up to her and said “Where is mama?” He was five! Later she was told that Misty and Toni had left the party at about 2:30 am and were headed back home. As soon as they merged unto the highway, they got rammed in by a drunk driver. Toni was very tiny; she was 4’3 and weighed about 98lbs. The very sudden impact of her airbag smashed her against the seat. It busted the top of her head wide open. Misty on the other hand was about 5’3 and a 125lbs. Her head snapped back from the impact and broke her neck. Mrs. Hunter was crying inaudibly by this time and I looked around and a couple of mothers around me were crying too. Well the police couldn’t find Toni’s family. Mrs. Hunter said they lived in San Antonio but her car was registered in her father’s name. They were able to track them down at about 12:30 pm that afternoon and inform them of this disheartening news. Mrs. Hunter was called to go to the morgue and identify her daughter. They prepared Misty and she was lying on her side in a fetal position with both hands clasped together under her head. Mrs. Hunter was wailing and begged to take Misty home. She said she was a nurse and she could take care of her and nurse her back to health. She finished with saying, I had only one daughter! I wanted grandkids! Mothers are not supposed to bury their children; it’s supposed to be the other way around. She has not been the same ever since. She is asthmatic… Had some complications at work and was told to go to the hospital. She got there and sat in her car and begged God to take her life but remembered her daughter’s warning that if anyone of them died before the other, the other must go on living. So she opened the door to the hospital walked in and got treatment. She also has one son, two step-sons and two foster-sons…  Toni’s two sons now live with their father Brandon, she never gets to see them anymore…

Thomas Jones: African-American male… Ex-Police Officer (11yrs) and State Trooper (10yrs)…

                Seen it all; heard it all!!! He was at a bar one night, talking to the bouncer at the door and noticed someone in the backseat of his patrol car. He walked up to the car, opened the back door and this guy yelled at him “Taxi! Take me to Fort Hood!” The police officer looked at the man and said this is not a taxi, don’t you see the white and black and big lights on top of the car? He asked the man, are you drunk? The man replied, yes! I parked my car, I can’t drive and I getting a taxi, obviously so come on! He told the man to step out of the car, patted him down and felt his keys in his pocket. He asked the man to show him his car. They walked around the building to the parking lot and the man pointed at his car. Mr. Thomas took him to Fort Hood that night because he made the right choice. As soon as they got to Fort Hood, the man pointed to a building, not sure if it was his but the police officer dropped him off there. Make the right choice!

Couple of Facts!

  • The legal BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) in all states is 0.08%
  • Every 45 minutes, someone dies because of a drunk driver.
  • If you are arrested for DWI, your license will immediately be suspended.
  • If you weigh about 150lbs; at three and a half drinks or three beers and you are at limit! (Check a BAC calculator online for more info)
  • The only way to sober up is time! No cold showers, eating or ten bottles of water! Alcohol leaves the body at 0.015% per hour! (Do the Math!)

There’s so much to lose!!!

  • jail time
  • court costs
  • loss of job/loss of income
  • attorneys fees
  • increased insurance rates
  • car impound and towing fees
  • loss of driving privileges
  • cost of drivers education classes
  • cost and inconvenience of ignition interlock device installed on car
  • community service time
  • and the worst consequence of drunk driving is injuring or killing someone

My First Sunday

I woke up early this morning! My alarm was set the night before to 9:00am but I woke up on my own about 8 O’clock. I had this song stuck in my head all morning; “He LIVES in me! (Lion King).” I found it on youtube and played it all morning while I went over the scriptures I had been given a month ago by my aunt. A couple of verses for you.. Romans 5 vs 3-5,8 also Romans 2 vs 12. After pondering over it for a while, i got up and got ready for church.

Guess what! I was early and got a really good seat too.. FYI (My church gets pretty packed, standing room only if you are late!) We always get a hymn leaflet and a bulletin. I was a handed a smaller and different hymn leaflet hence my story. I walked in, sat down and said a prayer before the service started. My neighbor had some headphones connected to an A-TRACK or so I thought until I asked her and she said it was a hearing aid. When the service started, I couldn’t find the songs in my leaflet. I looked across at my neighbor and she shared hers with me. She (I’ll tell you her name later) was an older woman, couldn’t really guess her age and I’m pretty good at this.. 😦 Anyways I would say mid-sixties. For some reason she reminded me of “Mary Poppins” She was dressed like a maiden in one those old movies. She had a black long sleeve turtle neck underneath a dress. She also had lace scarf draped over her head. No, I wasn’t staring at her the whole service, I only got a good look at her afterwards when we were exchanging pleasantries.

My neighbor gave me her hymn leaflet during the middle of the service and I ended up sharing it with her. There were passages in the service, the second one resonated with me the most.

Reading 2: Matthew 6 vs 24-34

Jesus said to his disciples:
“No one can serve two masters.
He will either hate one and love the other,
or be devoted to one and despise the other.
You cannot serve God and mammon.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life,
what you will eat or drink,
or about your body, what you will wear.
Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds in the sky;
they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns,
yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are not you more important than they?
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?
Why are you anxious about clothes?
Learn from the way the wild flowers grow.
They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor
was clothed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass of the field,
which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow,
will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’
or ‘What are we to drink?’or ‘What are we to wear?’
All these things the pagans seek.
Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given you besides.
Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.
Sufficient for a day is its own evil.”

The service continued..

When it was time for Holy Communion, my neighbor lifted the hmmm.. (I don’t know what its called but u know the stuff u kneel down on to pray? Catholics help me out!) Well that, she pulled up two crutches and I’m thinking OMG!!! She’s wounded! No thats not it, I step aside and get in line and she has one leg.. I got my holy communion, got back to my seat, knelt down and cried. All I could say was that I was soooooo sorry God for complaining about everything, from my present situation to my past.. just really sorry about nagging Him, not believing or having Faith..

When the service was over, she gave me a really warm hug and she said ” I feel like I’ve known you a long time” then she smiled.. While we were walking out of the church out of curiousity, I asked her what her name was. She turned to me, smiled and said “Piggy!” very giggly..lol I said what? And she replied Piggy, thats what I’m called. I told her mine and we parted ways but not before I turned around and said see you next “First Sunday!”

When you worry so much about anything and everything, think about those that have nothing and yet give everything! My Blessing today was not the sermon but God sent me “Piggy” for a reason… What’s yours?

Exploitations of A Barbie Chick!!!

July 26, 2010.

Had a long day, glad it was coming to an end. I was definitely looking forward to a long soak and a quiet dinner. I was about an hour into packing up my stuff and moving around… Basically I was almost done for the day. Guess who called; Rhina, the Barbie Chick! Well I hadn’t seen her since we met about a week ago. She had called the weekend before, she wanted to hang out. I couldn’t make it that night, I was held up.  Well today, she asked if I wanted to go to dinner; I said sure, I should be done in an hour. We met up at Barnes & Noble where we first met. She asked me to call the old white man. I was hesitant at first but I thought what harm could it do. She asked me to invite him to dinner, but he couldn’t make it. He was entertaining some guest from Brussels Belgium. We decided to go to a Chinese restaurant across the street. We had a wonderful dinner, I tried the” Lettuce chicken wrap” recommended by Rhina and we shared a bowl of Combination rice. Well, Jordan had said he would meet up with us later. Rhina told me to call him back and when I did  he said he was home, we should stop by.

On our way to Jordan’s (the Caucasian man) I came to a perfect understanding of what this Barbie Chick was all about. She was a scam artist and a well-seasoned liar! She made up this story on the spot, literally! How am I supposed to trust her, everything she’s ever told me feels like bag of water with holes in it. I mean come on, where does it end… She had the nerve to say “I’m a little white liar, sometimes…” U call that little! Well you be the judge of that. Here it goes… She says to me when we get there; tell him that I have been living with you for the past two days because I got into a big fight with my aunt. Also that you need me to pay half your rent or maybe just $200 she continues. She also said to tell him that the money would also assist me in buying books and school supplies. I’m staring at her, mouth agape and eyes blinking continuously thinking what kind of fool would believe this story and give you money afterwards!

We finally get there and I say to her “Why are we here, who lives here?” She says Jordan. I am appalled. Now am thinking to myself; didn’t this lying Barbie say he was a millionaire? I ain’t no golddigger but I know when something ain’t right. He lived in a ragged two bedroom condo in a ghetto neighborhood. I learned so much about my new friend that night. We were not there too long before she started nudging me to bring up the topic about our living situation; u know the scam, never-ending lie! I panicked. Never been too good a liar and I felt like he could see through me but I ventured anyway cos my right thigh was hurting from all the poking! As soon as I started talking, Jordan’s expression changed and when I mentioned her situation with her aunt, he butted in and said that he talked to Rhina’s mother about their fights. Trying to hide my expression of disgust at the mountain of lies I have suffered at the hands of lying Barbie…  She told me she didn’t live with her parents, just her aunt and her other aunt with six children from four different men who just moved into their two bedroom apartment with them. I understood from Jordan’s babbling that lying Barbie still lived with her mother; I was dismayed! After all my explaining coupled with urging from Rhina, Jordan says “I am done with supporting you, Shermaine!.” Shermaine! That bitch told me her name was Rhina! At this time, I am exhausted and my head is reeling from all the craziness surrounding me. They were talking about some phrases in French/ Spanish, by this time I was no longer interested. Then Jordan says “This sounds just like the beginning of a Nigerian scam!” I spun around so fast I could almost hear bones breaking!  He continues “I am a product of royalty, my father just passed and I inherited 15 Billion dollars! Contact me and you can have 80%…” I was furious! If looks could kill, I would be at Jordan’s funeral not his condo! I mean what nerve! What gives you the right to make a 419 joke, you are not of any African descent! Even if it was true, because I would admit to have received a couple of those emails in the past (I am Nigerian by the way, if u didn’t know already). I was still enraged but I smiled instead. Right time, wrong place! Anyways, I found out later the first phrase (“I am a product of royalty”) was the beginning of an inspirational poem on Rhina’s cell phone. So Mr. (I pimp young girls of African descent residing in foreign countries) really had jokes… smh

Back in the car; I asked Rhina, (if that’s her real name, don’t care, don’t wanna know) what the relationship was between Jordan and Chana. I am not naïve but if an old man is flying you in from Brussels, Belgium; and you are half… no a quarter his age… He is pimping you and it ain’t for free especially if you are not related. Rhina had shown me a picture of Chana and she didn’t look any much older than Rhina who is about 21. Jordan should be about 50, but he looks 65! He’s obese with rapidly deteriorating and colored teeth! By now she was infuriated by Jordan and she said “Yeah they are intimate sometimes and sometimes they are not.” I left it at that. Well anyways, just made it home… another nightmare, dream in a dream! (Inception!)… Ciao!

What is Love?

What is Love?

I once heard that “Love is your soul’s recognition of its counterpart in another.” How do you define love? Who am I to describe the depths of Love or fathom its capabilities… Its like being struck by lightning… Its so unexpected and entrancing! Living without loving is not living at all. Some say they are incapable of love. I say we all are. “For God so loved the world that He gave us His only son.” Also ” We are made in His own image.” If God loved us so much that He sent His only son to die for our sins and yet we are made just like Him… How much LOVE do u think we are empowered with!!! Share a little love! Sharing a little love goes a long way… “Be kind to those you meet climbing the ladder; you never know who you may meet coming down.” When you begin to love people search for the little things that count because those memories last the longest… Start with the little things in life, your elderly neighbors, co-workers, family members, you… If you’ve never loved, how do you learn to love? Open up your hearts, souls and minds and embrace the “Power of Love!”

This is the how you make me feel; this is what you do to me…

When I lay by u and our hearts beat in accordance; I rejoice cos I know my soul has found its mate! Your happiness is all I live for, your victories give me strength and your sorrows give me grief! Loving you is my soul’s delight… My heart’s joy…  And my body’s mischief! I yearn for u with my living breath; even when you are close to me I wish we could be more entwined. There’s no where else I’d rather be but right here with you in the embrace of your loving arms… Even if I never live to see the Wonders of World, the Eiffel tower in Paris or the Great plains of The Rocky mountains; Am blessed cos I had you for a day! God loved me so much that he carved you to perfection just for me. Your flaws to others are my charms… I love you with my soul!

The Nature of My Hair!!!

I have been natural for two years now… Its a miracle I haven’t shaved my head bald or deliberately tolerated the pain and just pulled all my hair out!!! Its one of the hardest things to do! Its funny how you have to struggle to look good in one hairstyle or the other but nappy buds just keep mocking you by rolling out under the weave or pulling out of the braids and inviting others to join! The only consolation I have in all this is; is when I take the braids or sew-in out and see how much my hair has grown… Some days are better than others, somedays its actually worth the headache. It doesn’t soothe the longing or lust (for lack of better words) after shiny black hair with parts in front with my hair out! I look at those people, yeah I said “those people” They are different from us! Don’t you see it too… Well those people act like its really theirs, not that I don’t when I could but I wish mine could look more real. Being Nappy has become a way of life and I’ve come to embrace it. Besides it works and feels good to say you are truly and proudly natural! Not that any of us can afford not to be with all the “KardASSians” and “PamANderson” (Courtsey: Jess & Karen) running around. All my friends are nappy or atleast most of them are. I’m proud to be Nappy; gonna keep pushing until better sense prevails! What’s ur story?

Hail Nappy Roots!!!

At thy throne we bow; Please tell Nappy Buds & Friends to allow us to enjoy a day in the pool, Its Summer 4 Heavens sake!

Black Is Beautiful